Solitary Monday...

Slept pretty badly last night. Tossed and turned over and over. Woke up sweating cos I had accidentally put the aircon on timer. Went back to sleep again, submerging myself in crazy psychedelic dreams.

I sometimes wonder if I am doing the right thing. My journey towards self healing has seemed to slow down as the days fly by. Where I was sure of my goal in the past, I am beginning to flounder in the process. It is getting harder for me to keep objectives in my head and the same old problem of procrastination is rearing its ugly head once more.

Have a fairly important therapy session tomorrow and I have some homework to prepare for it today. Need some real good solitude time to re-evaluate my current emotional state and figure out what else needs to be fixed.

There are times when I wonder if I am over-protecting myself and in the process hurting the people around me. During a conversation yesterday, I brought up the fact that as we go from relationship to relationship, we seem to learn about the cruel nature of humans and start putting up shields to protect ourselves. These shields can sometimes be just a glass wall easily breakable and penetrated, or it could be a spiked titanium shield that will hurt anyone who comes near it while being virtually untouched.

Have I become overly-jaded? Think I'm gonna ponder about this over the next few hours and figure out what went wrong...