· 1:09 am
SELFISHNESS
Original Xanga entry ↗What I learnt about myself yesterday...
I have been SELFISH.
With no concern or care for the people who love and care for me, I have been constantly selfish. I have taken their love and care for granted and assumed that every mistake I make can be repaired with just an apology. That because they love me, they will forgive me.
I have drained everyone's Emotional Bank Account and my balance with them right now is NEGATIVE.
Right now, what I can feel is despair, because I don't know how to start making deposits again.
The self destructive patterns and habits have to stop, but before I can stop, I need to figure out what they are first. There is a long long long list of transgressions that I need to identify. I need to learn, think, assess and execute.
I often used to preach that "No man is an island." I finally realised how true this statement is. It is not about being alone. It is about how you affect others.
I've started to get help, but will this be enough?
Historical comments (1)
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TheEmptyOne · 10/24/2007 4:44 PM
Thing's arn't so simple that you can blame everything on yourself as some great calamity. Don't fall into the trap of seeing yourself that way. This situation is hardly all yours to bear, if you want to stem of selfishness, then don't try to hold everything on yourself.
Acceptance isn't going to be finding something about yourself that is the cause to everything that has happened. It's more of accepting how some things are beyond your control.