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THE ONE WHERE THE STRESS LEVELS GO OTT

Some days, even when you are meant to be relaxed, at the heart of security, it doesn't happen that way. I am truly truly stuck. Unable to control my frustrations. At work, it is becoming a liability. I can no longer remain calm and try to keep things in control. It has become impossible. My list of things to do has gone from 10 items to 20 items to entire pages full. I am no longer enjoying what I am doing. I am drowning. Drowning because I am not getting the support that I am meant to get.

Some days I feel like giving up. Yesterday was one of those days.

1st December 2003 - Ray and I went to Cottoesloe beach... and with the sun setting in front of us, he proposed to me.

Fast forward to 1st December 2004 - I have a horribly bad day at work and end up fighting with everyone including Ray. It is only today, in the cab on my way to work, that I realise that our anniversary is arriving and I had not even thought of it. I have just been so occupied with work that I haven't had time to look at it.

Now I can understand how people can forget their birthdays. I feel exactly the same way.

I want to be myself again. I want to enjoy life again. I want to be happy again.