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Feeling slightly better today. Have a list of things to do. Going to concentrate on getting it done. Will get to speak to Ray tomorrow, so I won't be so unhappy. I tend to live for the days when I can spend time talking to him, when we can decide when and how we want to do things. Not following a stupid schedule that is deemed suitable by the military dolts.

I hate packing. I especially hate packing when everything is filled with memories of a couple and the packing is being done by me. I feel as if I am packing away our lives together. The books, the CDs, the pillows, blanket and even the TV!

Will we ever enjoy the freedom we had while living together in Australia again? Or is it forever lost to us? Am I a silly sentimental eejit for trying to hold on to it?

I miss the life we had. The life where we could be together day in and day out. When we could spend hours simply cuddling in bed and enjoying movie after movie or reading our favourite books together. Even those have now gone into a box labelled "Ray's Books -> Assorted Novels".

How do you close a chapter of your life when you lack the key?