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He called yet again !!~~~

However, this time, my tears flowed freely while talking to him... I have no idea why I hurt so bad... but I do... hearing him talk about his plans for the next 6 mths, talking about his relationship with his g/f... Knowing in my heart that he has returned to her and that he will never be "wholely" mine again...

When for a split second he admitted that he had felt like leaving her and flying back to be with me, my heart had soared to the boundaries of the sky... but when it became clear that it was just talk, I dived straight back to earth again.

Days like these make me wonder if I am just hopelessly infatuated with him, or is what I feel for him real...

Oh, to love but also not be able to love... how it hurts... Deep down I know I should just leave him and let him try to make things better. I should not stay and cloud his judgement. Even worst, try to convince him that coming back and being with me is the best choice...

Humans, always selfish... and I know I am human...