Question posed by someone from the past:

Question:  In a relationship, what should the rule be?  Absolute trust,
or absolute disclosure?  They seem similar, but they are 2 sides of a
common problem in any relationship.  What would piss you off more; your
lover going through your email, or your lover locking you out of their
system.

Based on a lesson learnt recently, I now know that I need to have absolute disclosure. I would rather have her going through my email, then to have her wonder what I am hiding.

I remember when I first started dating Ash, I would randomly pick up her phone to check on her smses. After several friendly debates about it, plus her constant making fun of me in regards to it, I stopped. I still had the random compulsion to check on her phone, but no longer did it because I decided to have full and absolute trust in her.

I'm not pissed at her for going through my phone. She had every right to do so. And it was my own mistake for having even anything remotely wrong that she could have picked up on to feel betrayed about. I let her down, which is why I could never be pissed about it. And she was right to be pissed when I had changed my passwords. In this, I had definitely failed her.

In a real relationship, there should be nothing to hide whatsoever. Everything and anything should be inclusive in the relationship. There should be no exceptions.

This I believe now.

What about you?