· 1:18 pm
Untitled entry
Original Xanga entry ↗"Fuck Off"
That was the response I got from someone who I tried to talk to... and all I did was trying to pass on information from someone else... If it's a crime to do a friend's request and a leader's duty, prosecute me, for I have sinned many times against this person.
Funny how I've tried so hard to maintain a neutrality among things and how I've managed to screw everything up... Some days I wish I could just turn back time and make things back to when I was 16 and the world was still beautiful.
After 5 years, I saw a psychatrist again and she sent me to a doctor. It's official, I have severe depression. My depression leads me to over-eating, sleeplessness, anxiety and occasional outbursts. I've been prescribed an anti-depressant and some sleeping pills. Apparently it's meant to help me settle down so I can concentrate on the real things in life...
What is real? What is not? Will we ever know? Will we ever live life fully, or will we always walk in circles? Is life just about walking in circles...
Will I ever love again? Or have I ever loved before?
Oh, and Will, I updated finally... so THERE 
Historical comments (4)
Preserved from Xanga. Comments are read-only.
ben21 · 4/2/2003 12:07 PM
That was so uncalled for...
Real things in life... The world is so different from the one that I had imagined and frankly speaking, I can't see what is real and what is not myself too. The reports of war on TV and in the newspaper, the SARS outbreak... all these seems so unreal at times...
I don't know whether life is all about walking in circles or not. But if i does, I hope you can find your way out from this "circle" soon.
Good night..
ben21 · 4/4/2003 5:15 AM
There's only so much medication can do for your depression ... I was prescribed an anti-depressant once and side effects aside (constantly drifting around with the feeling you're not in complete control of your life), I found out that reality dealt a bigger blow when the medication wears off ... life isn't fair sometimes (okay ... many, Many, MANY times ... but I'm trying to remain optimistic here) but it's really up to us to make the best of any situation ... as cliched as that may sound ...
Does that help ? If not ... a tub of Haagen Dazs (CHOCOLATE !) does the trick
Jamie (a friend of ben21)
Anonymous · 4/5/2003 3:39 PM
Sometimes it helps to be an ignorant fool, ignorance sometimes actually is bliss 'n all. Apart from that useless comment, good luck to you. Kinda hurts me when you feel bad 'n all. Though I shouldn't say this, seeing as how I try to keep my compliments and nice comments scarce and far between? But in my own special dutch, weird way, I still love you -wink-
-Ruud
absolute_weirdness · 4/22/2003 5:53 PM
Guess our serious talks have been few and far between. Most recently, also centred on me and her. I thank you firstly and next I want you to know i'd do the same for you anytime. Sacrifice my time, watever it takes to be there as your fren
So come to me ok? Don't leave me out, cuz if anything i'd rather be a kaypoh and be involved in your life as you have in mine.
Lastly, you picked 'April Fool's Day' to update ur site? What were you thinking???
-hugs n love-
Will