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I feel so angry, and yet so empty. It is 3 days to my birthday, and yet I am overcome by this feeling of sadness... why is that so? For 3 years coming, I have had forgettable birthdays and I believe this year will be no different. I used to enjoy birthdays so much, a huge party, attended by all my friends, and the believe that everyone will love and bless me on that day, but as this year's birthday approaches, I have a sudden fear... a fear of being loveless and friendless on the day that my mother brought me into this world.

Sometimes I wonder why people are so irresponsible, so passive, so lazy. It pains me when I see the worst side of humans and it pains me even more to see it everyday in me, and the people around me. Why is there no improvement? Even though I try, I bug, I argue, and I even scold. Somedays, I feel like throwing people out of my life. Because it hurts me everyday to have them crawling around, hurting me so intensely that I could cry myself to sleep each night.

I hate him, yet I love him too... Why is fate so cruel to me?