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Hmmmz had a great big screaming match with my mum just now... For some reason, that always happens when we talk on the phone... we cannot keep our voices down and then we start screaming, yelling, crying... and end up saying things we regret... it always happens like that.

The biggest problem I have with myself is that I always shut myself out when I encounter problems. and I make myself totally unreachable to anyone. I don't know why I do it, but I do. I just avoid everyone and everything... I switch off my phone, hide myself in my room and just don't leave the house AT ALL. I know it's bad and I know it gets people worried... but for some reason, I can't help it... it's that tortoise instinct, to duck my head under my shell and just never come out again... This happens especially when I am depressed and things are not going my way... and it's happening constantly recently... It doesn't help that I'm a night person, not a day person... so lots of times... when I have things to do in the morning, I just kinda brush it aside... and then I do it again... and again... and again... Horrible eh? Ah well...

Anyways... the tears are dried up now... and at least I am having a real conversation with my mum over ICQ... Hope she doesn't start using CAPITALS on me again...  

Just to continue that love-thingee I have below...

LOVE

6. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want him or her to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all he or she have.

7. Remember that the best relationship is when your love for each other is greater than your need for each other.

Number 6. was quoted before in my earlier blogs and I am sure some people remember it... number 7 though, is something I am not sure on... The people I love, are sometimes the people I NEED most of all in my life... and I guess that needs drives me to do things that would not be altogether natural, or correct sometimes... So is it the best relationship then when there is love and not need? What is need measured by? *sigh* Somedays, I can't understand love... or myself ... or anything in this world...