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Has anyone ever been out, like with a group of friends, and they all want to do something, but you're not really up to it, but just cos you don't wanna spoil everyone else's fun, you go along and do it. In the end, you end up having fun as well? That's exactly what happened to me tonight.

As usual, Mark picked me up at 1 am, when I get off work. However, tonight he wasn't alone. His buddy and a friend were in the car as well, and they wanted to go and play pool. I was dead tired, and I have to be up by 12 noon later, to get to work again. But I really didn't want to say no. So I ended up saying yes. Went to play pool, and laughed ALOT. Had great fun, and when I got dropped off home, I don't even feel tired anymore. <Which is why I am online now > I'm glad I am just able to go out and enjoy, not having to worry about stuff for once. And it was a nice and enjoyable time, granted it was short.

Well, all I'm trying to say is that I'm not gonna go out of my way to NOT enjoy myself when I can. I would like to have a bit of fun sometimes and there is no harm in that right? Life is about enjoyment. *sigh* Yet why do I sense this overwhelming guilt in me? I just don't understand. <Yes, I'm being neurotic and irrational again. You can stop reading here if you want.>

Wanna know the best part? I actually called -HIM- and told him I was out to play pool, so he wouldn't worry about me not getting home. Don't ask me why, but it was almost as if I -WANTED- him to get jealous. Which of course wouldn't happen, cos why would he care anyways? I'm not his girlfriend. *sigh* Yeah, I'm walking down that self-destruction road right now, so I better stop before I go any further. *wave* -Liv