The reality of becoming a trailing spouse

In the five months since I've last blogged about anything, there have been a number of changes happening in our lives. I figured it's about time I posted an update, just in case people think I've abandoned the blog. Nope, I have not. I just happen to have a whole lot on my plate right now.

I spent May in Seattle visiting Irene and playing full-time-stay-home-working mom to Zoey. I have to say I salute all parents who get by without help. Whether you are a working parent or stay home parent, it's both equally challenging. I've been fortunate to have a helper since Zoey was 6 months old and the month I was away in Seattle, I was reminded of how lucky I am to have help back in Singapore.

Once Zoey and I got back to Singapore, I realised that solo-parenting is one of the most difficult parenting tasks I've undertaken. Even when I have help and support from family and friends, it's been very trying. Zoey in particular has been affected quite badly. She misses her mommy extremely and given that I'm normally the bad cop, it's been an uphill battle to keep Zoey happy. She has resorted to throwing tantrums, potty training has infinitely regressed (where we were at the "mostly peeing on the potty" phase, we are now back at the "run away from the potty" phase) and now she wakes up grumpy every morning, not wanting to go to school because according to her, she hasn't had enough sleep.

Having said that, I've enjoyed spending one on one time with Zoey. In a way, I feel we've become even closer because we only have each other. Every night she cuddles up to me and we wake up in the mornings snuggled up. So it's not all bad, although I'm looking forward to when the whole family is together again.

Which brings me to the exciting news I'm so happy to annouce - we are having another baby!

Introducing baby Chiong number 2, nicknamed BB8, arriving in Jan 2017.

This of course means that we've had to change our plans a bit. Instead of Zoey and myself moving to US at the end of the year or next year, we've decided to make the move this month. In fact, the blast off date is in 3 weeks.

The change in plans has meant speeding up the entire preparations for the move. So for the past couple of months, my life has revolved around parenting Zoey, struggling with a horrendously pukey and exhausting pregnancy, working on fulfilling my various work project commitments plus organising this international move (including decluttering a home I've lived in for over 18 years).

So yes, the blog took a back seat while all this was happening.

As we now enter the countdown phase, I feel a sense of sadness because I know I will miss Singapore, my home for more than 3 decades. I've been trying my hardest to go around eating the food I know I will miss most while we are away. We do not have a definite timeline on when we will move back permanently, although I know I will be travelling back next year on a couple of occasions. Much of what happens in the next year is dependent on Irene's job and how our family settles down in the US. We are of course looking closely at the upcoming US presidential elections and how it may potentially affect us as "foreign talent".

I'm looking forward to this adventure. I know so many women in Singapore who moved countries for their partners and I'm about to become a trailing spouse myself. I believe I've set myself up with the best possible chance of success going into this move. The preparations have included building a business that I can work on anywhere in the world and obtaining a visa for our helper to go with us. I hope it will make the process that much smoother.

So please be patient while we are in this transition phase and I'll be back with more updates once we've settled down next month.