1. Elin

    Hi there, random posting from a random stranger (who stumbled upon your blog/fb a while ago and thoroughly enjoy reading about your experiences). I have a 8yo boy and 3yo girl. 8yo never threw a tantrum (he wasn’t perfect but no tantys). 3yo girl has many times now- I was utterly shocked at the first time, didn’t know what to do about it. I am a stubborn mum who believes in follow through. However, I have also learnt that 3yos may learn to express their regret through other means, other than saying sorry. Every child is different- I have learnt that mine will get to a certain point where she becomes hysterical, and doesn’t take in anything anymore, so any further explanations, reasonings etc will have no effect. Mine is also a very stubborn child, so I have learnt that rather to bend her will to whatever my original request was, I may have to change my request so that she has a chance to comply e.g., if I had asked her to apologise and she didn’t and tantrums as a result of that, I change my request to ask her to stop crying or to pick up her toy or whatever that she can do. My reasoning is that at the end of the day, what I want is that she has to learn that she has to follow the instruction that I have given her, and if she struggles to comply with one, then I will give another one that is achievable.

    Like you, I love my child and the old adage is true which my mother used to repeat to me- when I (my mother) cane you, my skin hurts more than yours. I also read somewhere (reliable parenting advice from fb of course haha) that when your child is hysterical (which mine does become, I reckon she even forgets why she was so upset in the first place cos she is too busy being upset), its probably good not to “abandon” them as they are seeking some sort of comfort (I have “abandoned” my hysterical crying child in her cot and closed her bedroom door, mostly for my own sanity!).

    Anyway, just to share some of my experiences. Good luck, single parenting is tough!

    • Thanks for sharing your experiences Elin, I appreciate it so I know I am not the only one! It is a tough balance and I’m seeing it more and more as she grows, but I will try out your suggestions and let you know how it goes!

      Thanks once again 🙂

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