5 Comments

  1. Leong

    Thank you for writing this. I was appalled by the Bill , the society shouldn’t treat child like that

  2. Hoi

    While you’ve raised very good points about responsibilities of the father and plights of children born out of wedlock, it is important to avoid being like Western countries. Having lived in UK for almost 20 years, I’ve seen teenage mothers having children who become teenage single parents later. The welfare allows them to survive without getting a job. It stores up a lot of problems for the country. So tread carefully. We need to be compassionate but also develop policies that do not cause long term side effects.

    • Well, I think this issue is not only about teenage single mothers. There are also matured, established women who do not meet the man of their dreams. There is no reason why they should be deprived of the opportunity to be mothers. Either way, my point is really that the entire idea that not providing the same benefits is meant to be a deterrent or punishment is an outdated ideal. All mothers should be accorded the same benefits.

  3. Di

    Hi, I am in a dilemma because I cannot seem to find a support group based on my demographic. I am 5 months pregnant and am unwed. The father of my son is unreliable and I am thinking of slapping him with a court order for child support. If I do, it would definitely be the end of us. He didn’t want this child and had asked for me to go for an abortion as his life would be a lot “neater” without a baby (he has always asserted this. I couldnt bear to and we have had endless arguments about this. I have compromised to say that I would bear the cost of raising this child and all other medical bills as long as he tries his best to be around as much as he can just so he stays in our lives.

    I am not a teen (Im 35), am not jobless (Im a civil servant – as you can guess, my Ministry isnt that kind to me because my morals are so-called questionable. Have been battling with my bosses about my job. I’ve a feeling that my promotion is affected as I have taken several medical leave days because of my condition. Till now, I am not sure if I am entitled to that 8 weeks paid maternity leave or not), am not homeless (I have my own private property) and am not uneducated (I have an hons degree and a post-grad dip). Does this mean that I can do without a support network cos there doesnt seem to be any.

    I am emotionally unstable and I have contemplated suicide a few times. I am barely living and I am staying alive just because of my son. This isn’t a pleasant situation to be in for I have never thought I would have a baby in such in situation. I have no family support either.

    Being unwed and pregnant and alone and having been dumped is tough. And I am scared. Of course I long for the father to be around, he is the father after all but his conditions to how he would be around makes me feel unworthy and many of my friends have said that I would be better off without him. I am not dependent on him for my livelihood. But i just cannot accept his callousness and how seemingly cruel and unfair he is towards me. And because of this, i am trying to let go. Oh Lord, I am trying and I can’t seem to even type this without tears streaming down my face. I feel hopeless. I have been praying for strength and guidance and it doesnt seem to help me feel any better.

    Help.

    • Hi Di,

      I am so sorry to hear about the situation you are in. I suggest you seek support through counselling. There is also a single mothers support group. I will drop you an email with more details. Please take care.

      Cheers,
      Olivia

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